I Came Out As Non-Binary and Here is Why

June 10th, 2021

I grew up in a world centered around a binary in one form or another, like most of us. You are either a boy or girl. You either dress feminine or masculine – most likely coinciding with the gender identity you were given at birth without consent. It took me 26 years to unlearn the binary within myself. To silence the noise around me for a moment and ask myself, what is my identity? Who am I outside of the binary? Am I identifying within the binary because it is all I know? Or because that is what feels the most authentic to me?

I didn’t have an answer to these questions for a long time because frankly, I wasn’t given space or resources to even ask them. I was afraid. And there was a comfort in staying within the binary I knew for so long. Because everyone else around me was staying within it, so what was wrong with me? Why did I feel so insecure when I had to wear a dress to prom instead of a badass 70’s style power suit? Why did I always feel like having long hair was a way for me to hide instead of embrace my femininity? Why did having long hair not always feel feminine to me and instead feel like a trap?

I was tired of asking these questions in my head. I was tired in general. When I began to discover that I had autonomy within my gender identity, I felt a sense of inner validation I had not felt in my entire life. And in 2020, I was given space to sit with this validation. To get quiet for a moment and question the things I never felt I had the right to.

On June 1st, 2021 I came out to the world as a non-binary femme with the pronouns She/They. I was terrified but also felt a sense of empowerment. That for the first time in my life I felt that I had found myself. That the human I saw in the mirror had arrived into their own self.

Questioning and being curious about your gender identity is natural. You are not alone. 

If you or someone you know needs support as they navigate their gender identity support them, love them unconditionally, and hold space for them.


A Proud and Free Non-binary Femme

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